Letter 7--I know why it took me so long.

Hey, online world.

I decided to return tonight.

I left off at Letter #7. This one is supposed to be to an ex-boyfriend/crush/love. I shudder at the thought.

Dear __________________,

I wrote poems about you, to you. I kinda laugh at myself now when I stumble upon all of the musings in old journals about you. You are not just one person. Technically, you could be, but no, my heart was broken many times. I was told I loved too much, too readily, too easily. I was told I played all the wrong games, set myself up for disappointment. Maybe so. I hate those kinds of games. Still do.

You taught me that I am intrigued and intimidated by shyness. I always fall for guys who are tall, intelligent, and competitive. I deeply desire to be with someone I can trust, someone who knows me, someone I know. I love when you make me laugh. You taught me to be careful, to stop assuming that little things mean big things. You taught me to quit wishing for signs that were not there. You taught me never to take the first step, for fear of losing everything. You taught me what it feels like to be discarded. You taught me what it means to be a friend.

I hold no anger, really. I just sobered up, stopped dancing in the daze of hope.

And I have you to thank for that.

EDIT: Holy muffin-top, Batman. Upon second read, that sounded like the biggest bowl of angsty fifteen-year-old soup I have ever consumed.