Why Naps Are Dangerous for My Brain

Okay, so I was grading tests, and of course, I fell asleep. Note: I was grading them on my bed under the covers. As if I expected any less. So, maybe I should learn not to take naps when I am extremely behind in my grading and have not accomplished even CLOSE to what I intended to accomplish over Fall Break. I had a very strange dream. And this one was so real and so strange that I feel the need to write it down to be able to remember it. Details are already sliding out of my consciousness, but it was just so real. And, it must, somehow, be connected with my feelings of guilt and failure over procrastination. Since I deem Jordan and Dana to be the only two people reading this, the names might mean nothing, but I will use the real people's names nonetheless for myself. :-)

Okay, so the start of the dream was in the gym. Originally, I thought it was graduation, but it definitely was not that because of the rest of the dream, but it was something that filled the gym. I was wearing a peach-colored dress that was quite cute, but I have never seen it before. Next, the details get hazy, but somehow, I am left with only my underwear on, but I am covered by a towel. (No, they do not get hazy because I am embarrassed; I simply don't have any idea how I ended up wearing what I was wearing.) So, keep in mind that I am like that for the rest of the dream, and I see TONS of people, but I am never asked why I am not wearing clothes, nor does anyone seem to care. The towel is JUST big enough to cover me, though, so it slips throughout the dream, which I find horrific, but it seems that I was the only one with that on my mind. The rest of the dream has this urgency to it; I am desperately trying to get to my classroom or somewhere with clothes, and I am interrupted by a circus of people.

I come into the guidance office, where I pick up my mail. In my mailbox are a few letters from parents asking for things that I do not have to give them, as if their students have lost them. I don't know what they are talking about. Also in my mailbox are two "fake" phones. They have batteries, and they work, but they are a gel-like substance that is soft to the touch, and there are also numbers and names on the back of them, as if I am supposed to know what they are. I try to find someone in guidance who knows what I am to do, but to no avail. However, in the hallway of the guidance office, where the conference room is, there is Ben Martin, in a very un-Ben Martin t-shirt. He is outside a room, and there is another student, who I knew when I was sleeping but now do not know, and Ben says, "Hey, are you _____?" He uses the kid's last name to identify him, which seemed strange to me, and the kid says, "Yes!" Ben says, very enthusiastically, "You are on the list! You made it!" The kid jumps up and kicks his legs in a toe-touch fashion, and knocks into the wall. Ben jumps up exactly like Jack Black and punches the wall. They both high-five, and I just stand there numbly watching this hilarious interaction.

Moving on...when I try to enter the main hallway (remember, I am urgently trying to get somewhere with clothes), I find myself amongst hundreds of screaming students. It is the Robotics team. This is where the new people find out if they make it, and they are doing the whole ordeal publicly and very dramatically. Basically, all the hopefuls are by the glass on top of the main stairwell. The team as it is lined up on the stairs and some newly-made rafters facing the hopefuls. It kind of looks like the Deal or No Deal setup. Very glitzy and very over-the-top. So, in a very slow process, Steve Wherry calls out the new members, and they cry like beauty pageant girls and jump to the other side. There is a crowd of people at the bottom of the stairs and all around just waiting and watching. Some of the team members that I specifically remember: Mikey Hughey and Jamie Cartwright. Jamie is wearing matching shirts with four other people in a line, and when I walk by him, he jumps out of line and flexes. Yes. Mike is standing in the middle of the new rafters, and there is a white light shining on him that makes him look like the most prized recruit. On the not-members-yet side? Alex Carlisle and Steve Sizemore, among many others. There is girl who graduated last year or the year before as well, but I can't remember her name. When she gets called, as the last person, she body surfs onto the other side and falls down the stairwell.

By this time, SOMEHOW, I am back in the guidance office, watching this in front of the windows. Susie Schoch is beside me, and she rushes out to the girl who just fell down the stairs and screams, "Hey _______, what do you think about the challenge you have just been chosen to accomplish?" The girl says, "It's awesome!" (I found that humorous in my dream.) Then, as I am standing in the guidance office, I notice that there is a classroom set up in the waiting area for kids who have bad report cards/progress reports, and so the place is also packed. I notice my lack of clothing again, especially after my towel dropped as I was watching the Robotics parade, and I am unaware as to how long it was down. I quickly fix it, and I eerily glare at this kid at the back of the guidance office, who I swear was the only one who noticed my clothing mishap. On my way out the door, Emily VD jumps out of the crowd. I am excited to see her, as she is out of the country this semester, and she immediately asks me about my dress that I was wearing earlier. She said she has the same one, but it doesn't fit her, so she needs to borrow mine. I tell her that there is no way my dress will fit her, but she says she can make it work.

Okay, this is longer than I expected. I am getting bored. The parts that are left include figuring out what to do with that phone based on the wisdom of Bruce Kalb and having a sort of stand-off while walking up the stairs with various teachers. Finally, the dream ends with me staring up at all the "rejects" from the Robotics team, and I feel so badly for them because they are so upset, and the manner in which they were told seems so wrong. Steve Sizemore is last seen crouched in the corner of the stairwell with tears streaming down his face, and I am frantically (still in a towel) trying to find Alex to see if he is alright.

The End.