Paint in My Eyeballs

I've been working and buying and thinking and driving and thinking and buying and working a lot.

None of this has been connected to school.

Guilt has crept under my pores and has started to ooze out.



On a slightly unrelated note.

Have you ever thought about your future? Like, really thought about it?

Imagine yourself twenty years older than you are right now. Really. Try to do it. What will you do with your time? What will you look like? Where will you be? What/who will you love? I don't know what I am supposed to think, and I don't know about you, but that utterly

FREAKS

ME

OUT.

I don't get to "take my DVR with me" when I move. Bummer.

I have slightly disturbing news.

If I wanted to ruin my life a little more, I would probably love Twitter, but that makes me sad.

You know why?

I think in status updates. Seriously, in my pea-little brain, throughout the day, I have thoughts that I would love to "share with the world," and they are simply strange little statements about my life and the world around me.

The same question must be asked though. Who decided that "the world" needed to know all of my thoughts? And, conversely, when did I stop wanting to express myself in paragraphs and start wanting to express myself in quips and sentences? No time for an explanation...here's a little tidbit, world! I don't "have time" to talk to my friends, but I can let them know about the funny moment I had at Speedway! It is a strange transition of my brain, but I am amazed that I can actually dictate how technology has changed my way of thinking. Does that blow anyone else's mind?

So, here are a few of my status updates:
(I can't actually make them my statuses because I am selling Chicken Pox. I also don't want to be one of those people who changes status updates every forty minutes, even though I have a new thought all of the time.)

1. They ran out of Cherry Coke at Speedway. I tried regular Coke and cherry syrup. Not even close.

2. The colors of the leaves against the leaden hue of the sky nearly made me cry this afternoon. Absolutely breathtaking.

3. Every year I wait until the day before Halloween to get my costume together. Maybe this is why my costume is always lame.

4. The mouse in Mrs. Morrow's office was so stinking adorable. Why can't I have the same attitude toward the mouse that has possibly made its home in my apartment?

5. I get the keys to my new house tomorrow. MY house. So surreal.

6. I had a dream about the senior issue of the Focus. Does that mean I am demented?

7. I miss Alie.

8. I don't like candy corn. Never have. Never will.

Snicker Yum-Yum

I graded at Borders today. Man, I love that place. Again, I was seated close to a group of older men who heckled each other and talked for two hours about politics, money, and how much money their wives spend. They seemed like old friends, but I was saddened by them. They were consumed with the economy and with their stocks and gold investments. They had print-outs as to how much money each had gained in the past week. I get worried about money, but I can't imagine that being what I care about the most. It sounds a bit snotty to say it, but I felt sorry for them. Then, I started thinking about all the stuff I worry about that is seemingly pointless as well. The whole time I was there I felt a little depressed, to be honest.

Then Alie brought me my very own serving of Snicker Yum-Yum (self-named), and things got a little better.

About Jim and Pam. (Yes, I am about to write about fictional characters as if they are real, but is that so different than spending time talking about music? It is all about connecting, right?)

Considering all that I believe about fictional romances and how superficial love is made to be on television and the movies, I should get upset at Jim and Pam. The show is, in essence, a comedy of errors, and there is virtually nothing comedic that their storyline gives to the show. They are the perfectly sculpted couple in the midst of a cast of eccentric and ho-hum normies. The writers made a choice, and that choice was that the show would continue to be funny, but the drama around Jim and Pam was not going to give us laughs anymore, nor would we be allowed to pine for the eventual "someday" that we hoped to have. That day has come. They are too perfect. Namely, he is too perfect. He is shockingly sweet and adorably goofy. At every turn, he does something that is quirky and romantic, and for goodness sakes, they ended up together even after she was engaged to be married to another guy. He even went so far as to say "he loved her from the first day he met her." (Gag...right, Alie?)

I should be bothered.
But, I am not.

I should understand that the real world does not offer so perfect a situation, so perfect a guy, so perfect a chemistry. I should be annoyed that my heart has been manipulated for five seasons.

I am not so naive to think that I will find a Jim someday, but is it so wrong to hope? I guess I want to believe that I am worth it. I don't want someone who wouldn't cut his own tie to make me feel better about my ripped veil. I want someone to see me like Jim sees Pam. I want to marry my best friend.

I am not out of touch with reality. I don't actually see this happening (don't actually NEED for this to happen), but I won't settle for anything less.

And that's why it is okay for me to love them.

It's okay to love them.

Just let me be a hopeless Romantic for about twenty-four hours. After that, I will come back and talk about why I felt it necessary to post these pictures.

I am so lame.

Hi.

I am lame when it comes to being a blogger. I would have less trouble writing about life if I just wrote about life consistently, but I don't. Just like I don't always pay bills on time or clean my apartment or go grocery shopping.

Ugh.

I just needed to say something new.

I am going to throw something out there. Despite the bubbly sweet goodness of Cream Soda and the unfading glory of Cherry Coke, hot chocolate might just be the world's most perfect drink.

Bagels are Good.

So, I neglected to finish my summer Happy List. Oops.

I could write my thoughts for new (and old) college students, but I am not as eloquent as Miss Davis. Sooooooooooooooo, instead I will write this...

People talk about how much I do, but I actually spend a lot of time neglecting stuff. Sad, really.

About an hour ago, I was actually doing work when I felt the immediate need to eat a snack. It had been a whole five hours since I had last eaten, so obviously, I was famished. Thankfully, I had made a quick run to Kroger after play practice (what do you do when you realize that you are completely out of toilet paper while going to the bathroom?). At Kroger, I decided that I needed to buy bagels. Yum. I had a little leftover cream cheese from bean dip. Double yum.

Bagel toasting and scarfing (I hate seeing that word spelled out...it should not be spelled the same as the item of clothing) ensued.

While I was spreading the cream cheese, I thought to myself...

"Do I like anything more than a bagel and cream cheese?"

I immediately answered...

"Of course. I love tons of food. This is why I am fat."

Thus, the need to pick my Top 10 Favorite Foods arose. A bagel doesn't even make the cut.

In no particular order:

1. Alie's apple snicker yum yum.
2. Bean dip--Thank you, Sarah Kjeldsen. Thank you.
3. Chicken Enchiladas--Is it a Sara Lee recipe? Becky Gearhart?
4. Cheddar Munchies
5. General Tso's Chicken from China Garden (rice included)
6. The Hazelnut Raspberry Chocolate cake from Bone Fish
7. Breyer's Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream
8. Cornbread casserole
9. Guacamole (The best ever? Made fresh by the lovely women in Reynosa...)
10. Chicago's breadsticks with nacho cheese and/or Chicago's barbecue chicken pizza

Honorable Mentions: Either an everything or an asiago cheese bagel (toasted) with cream cheese, Bonefish's Florida Cobb Salad, Max and Erma's tortilla soup, Adrian Orchard's apple cider slushies, steak, baby back ribs, chicken salad, Sara Lee's potato salad, Poo Shingles, watermelon, asparagus, popcorn, and Brie cheese...with pretty much anything...okay...cheese, period.

You try it. It is really hard to choose.
(Especially if you have papers to grade and can make a list such as this to waste as much time as possible.) Instead of sleeping tonight, I will probably try to figure out what I have forgotten. It will plague me.

No, seriously. Respond with your favorites.

Summer, cont.

4. Dancing

This summer has been filled with so much dancing.

We line-danced multiple times.
We danced in celebration of a good meal in Ocean Springs and of our independence on the streets of Birmingham.
We danced when Dana and Zach tied the knot.
And we danced even more when Ben and Hannah said their vows the following weekend.

Dancing and I have not always gotten along, mostly because I can't do it if it isn't choreographed. (This summer, only two years late, I fell in love with the "Cupid Shuffle." I thought it was the "Cuban Shuffle" for a while.) But, and this might sound creepy, I love watching people dance. I love how much laughter it invokes, how much personality. I love that people surprise me with their outlandish moves. I love that, despite it sounding so cliche, it seems to free people as they get lost in the beat of some stupid song.

There have been moments this summer when I felt sick to my stomach because I was laughing so hard while people danced. I LOVE that kind of stomachache.

Why don't we dance more often?

(Insert comment: I am NOT speaking of the kind of dancing that happens at most high school dances. That is called humping, and it is not freeing, fun to watch, or surprising...except when I see students who I respect in the middle of the mass of nastiness.)